Monday, December 07, 2009
Apparently, us WLS women don't have the nutritional reserves to grow placentas with staying power so the doc wanted to be very careful and watch me closely. No big deal. "Watching closely" involves me seeing the baby more during ultrasounds and spending close to an hour hearing its heart beat while hooked up to a monitor. Sounds like fun to this expectant mom!
But then I realized something aggravating: The schedule I was one for these appointments meant that my doc would see me on Tuesday with no new information and then see me on Friday after receiving the ultrasound results. So, I'd walk in on Tuesday to good news: Everything looks great; you're amazing. And then on Friday, it would be time for bad news: Baby isn't growing; your placenta is getting old; hope you're not attached to working much longer.
I was taken off work at the beginning of the month because the baby was assumed to be super-small. Some women with this problem have seen radical growth once they stop working their office jobs, because stress plays a big role in baby development.
It was unexpected, but I've been able to roll with it for the good of the baby. Then came suggestions that I not drive too far from where we live and that I sleep more. If you know me, you know I'm not much of a sleeper when I'm burning the candle at both ends -- much less when I'm not.
Ultimately, all of this impresses one major fact upon both Brian and me: We are not in control here.
When it comes down to it, you can try to align the planets perfectly in a multitude of ways, but when you are expecting a baby, that little, tiny baby is the world's tiniest dictator -- in control of every minute detail. And if you want to maintain your sanity, you'll realize that, accept that, and move on. So my mantra of late has been to accept that which I can't control and focus on that which I can. Sounds simple enough. Hard to put in practice, though.